The Truth Hurts

     So I finally got to watch the episode of “Iyanla Fix My Life, Fix My Father with 34 Kids, Part 1”. When I wrote yesterdays’s “Daily Dose”, “Recycled Truth”, I was speaking from a very obvious perspective because anytime a man and several women will create this kind of reality for their children; there is obviously some definite dysfunction present. The man that this episode was centered around got to tell his story. He had a very painful childhood. He became the product of a broken home with an emotionally unavailable father and broken mother tainted by the stain of low self-worth and a distorted view of self-awareness. During pregnancy, the mother is the passage for nutrition, emotional and physical development, and communication. Ultimately, the unborn fetus receives everything that the mother has whether it is good or bad. The bond between mother and child is first relationship that shapes the character of the child. If there are deficits in the mother and nobody is present to counteract the negative influences, the child is placed on a path of disaster before he or she is born. Many times people get into relationships with people that are broken by the pain of their past. The possibility of them having the capacity to exist in a healthy reciprocal relationship with you is non-existent. Someone that doesn’t have self-love will not have the ability to love you. Getting married will not erase the battle scars of your childhood, nor will having a child heal the wounds of your past. It will just highlight the madness that has festered and spread for several years. Bringing more people into madness just creates more madness. I noticed that Jay, the man with 34 kids, had a real issue with the truth. He literally threw tantrums when he heard his mother and father explain how things really were. The contradiction to what Jay always believed completely threw him into a whirlwind of uncontrollable anger. If the point of brokenness in your life is never healed, you will often revert back to the behavior that you displayed in that moment. The tantrums are from his childhood and they got a reaction when he wanted to be left alone. As a grown 44 year old man, he is still looking for the same reaction because he does not want to deal with the reality of his present. He held his parents in very high regard and he could not deal with the fact that they, especially his dad, were extremely flawed. He saw a snapshot of his dad in himself. He said he saw his dad as Superman eventhough in reality his dad failed him. The real truth is that he needed his kids to have the same heart of forgiveness that he had for his dad because Jay knew he failed them. It’s always 2 sides to every story; then there is the truth. Jay is a very wounded person, so what does that say about the women he deals with? Next week Iyanla will find out. Stay tuned………